Disney has some cartoon skeletons in theys closet...

Alladin? Beauty and the Beast? Sure, there's the ever-present knowledge that while Splash Mountain is covered with Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox, the friendly black slave who whistled along with them as he strolled the plantation telling stories to happy white children in the film Song of the South, is not available on DVD.



But chain-smoking, verbally abusive, perpetually cranky old Uncle Walt also brought about a few more treats that won't find their way onto Disney giftshop merch....

Lets begin!

1. Remember Sunflower? The happy little black centaur from Fantasia who prances in the orchestrated grass and....helps all the tall aryan centauresses get ready? Don't remember her? She's vanished like she never was. But here she is.





2. During the war years, animation took a break from creating a happy wonderland, and took us all on a tour of Nazi Germany. Um, cool?



And now you know. Disneyland, anyone? I want to hop on Indiana Jones and pretend Shia LaBeouf is whispering sweet nothings into my ear.

Save the Date

Things to do between now and mid-June:

1. Read Mortified

2. Read Mortified: Love is a Battlefield

3. Come see ME! onstage with the wonderful folks at Mortified Live! on June 19th in Hollywood!

4. Then confess your love for Mr. Belvedere. No, seriously, do it. After all, he did invent the Double-Stuf Oreo.

Pork and Beans and The Vars!

WEEZER RED ALBUM. WEEZER MOTHER FUCKING RED ALBUM. MAKE OUT WITH RIVERS CUOMO IN A HOT TUB WHILE SINGING OPERAS WEEZER RED ALBUM.

Ay yi yi yi!

How does this make me feel? See below:

Things I learned from Rescue Rangers

Don't join cults because THEY'RE BAD.

Also, don't drink the soda. Dare I suspect someone in the script room at Disney had Jonestown on their mind?