Oh, the love of a Father...

Jesus likes your hobbies!

I'm pretty sure this guy is for real.



"You wait now, young mister! I don't care who you think you are, you'll spoil your dinner!"



"For the last time, yes! You can take the bathroom pass! Stop disrupting class!"



No girl will ever love you, but at least someone will.



"Sir, I appreciate your support, but you're blocking my light. Also, you're not wearing scrubs, nor did you wash your hands. *sigh* Why do I even have to do that? Can't you just touch this patient, and save us the sterile instruments and gauze?"



"Doug? DOUG! Why is he--Doug, I'm right here! You don't really have to do that right now."

Patterns of the Damned

I've decided after discovering this:



that I'm going to start showcasing patterns that not only should never have been invented, but labored over at a sewing machine for hours of wasted life. So here we go! (Note: Wasn't it nice of Mr. Hammer to autograph all those Simplicity patterns for the fans?)



The dress on the right ain't bad. That rectangle on the left? Some sort of formal football uniform? I can just see the poor girl getting draped in this for prom. Her joyous Mother squealing, "So feminine..and the sash just pulls it all together!"



Holy Big Love! With four different doily patterns for all the different wives in your life! We all know how the Sister-Wives hate accidentally wearing the same dress! My favorite? THE TRIANGLE.



If I were to suck on the hem of this dress, would it taste like peppermint? Don't answer that.

Electric Youth 2: Fashion Boogaloo!

The kids these days are all about salvaging the scraps of neon glory, the same glory that we, the older generation old enough to purchase a Michael Jackson cassette of our own, totally took TO THE MAX. I'm just wondering why we've hit on the greatest hits of Duran Duran:




and then nimbly leapt to MC Hammer.




There's a gaping hole in this fashion timeline, as we shuffle angsty-style into flannel...when is Debbie Gibson gonna get some love?

Tweet Tweet Tweet

I'm all about the twittering these days, kids! And I'm a'doin it too! Follow me my little chickadees on the new social networking website that all the kids (aka Rainn Wilson) are using these days! It's like a backwards baseball cap, but on your computer!

Twitter @

lolaunwinona

Blanche is a tawdry little slut...

..but this music video is pretty effing brilliant! I like to think Bea would approve.

David C. Hates Food, Ex-Girlfriend.

They say you can tell a lot about someone by the way they talk to a waitress or when they think no one's looking. I'd like to add to that list. You can tell a lot about a person by the reviews they post on Yelp.

Lately I've been discovering the joy of Yelp.com when it comes to exploring restaurants beyond the local Dennys (sad) and the reviews are EASILY more interesting than the actual restaurant information. I really learn nothing about the restaurant and its service from what the former patrons post...but I really learn about how that particular person's day was going. I've loved places that got panned and hated places that had rave reviews. Usually I roll my eyes at the reviews that have obviously been posted by people who expected the waitstaff to personally cut up their food and feed it to them...but this one, found while searching for a Shabu Shabu place to take the Ol' Mater when she comes to visit the big city, was such a gem I had to share. I don't think he hates the restuarant. I think he just hates his life. (I've highlighted my favorite passages)

I only went here because an ex-gf of mine loved this place. I hated it and her. The service is relatively poor. There are a bunch of white kids serving us that don't know Asian food. Then all the meat and vegetables look like they've been brought out of the freezer and just plopped onto a plate and I'm suppose to heat them up in a boiler on my table. Great. The best part is the sauce, which is nothing more than sauce out of a jar, put into a wanna-be Asian container. Wonderful. Need I say more?

No, David C. from Pomona, California. You need not.