I Hate LA

Stop name-dropping, SHADOW. And stop being so cool, CAFE 101. Dammit. What the hell, man? I DON'T WANNA GO TO THE BEACH AGAIN.

Honest Abe Will Save Your Ass

Slavery = He's gonna emancipate the shit outta those slaves!

Vampires = He's gonna wipe out four score and twenty of them. Before BREAKFAST!

Greatest.

Book promo.

EVER.

Hippity Hoppity FreakyDeeky

Happy Easter from your friendly neighborhood Unwinona and whatever the fuck this thing is!

(Photo courtesy of awkwardfamilyphotos.com)

The Greatest Anti-Tampon Tampon Ad Ever.

So. Great. So great.

Get the Butt You Never Wanted!

It's the Snuggie of ass-cheekery! The Bump-It of buttocks! Color me stupid, but I'm a bit hesitant to spend "only" $19.95 to make my butt look like I stuffed two Maxi-pads down the back of my granny panties.



Also:
I'm pretty sure every woman in America who actually has junk in their collective trunks would happily punch you in the face for purchasing something they've been trying to get rid of for years.

White Lights..Are Where It's At

So here's the rundown:

1. Brandon Nicholas is a fucking awesome genius. He has a website to prove it.

2. White Lights is like the musical version of a delicious candy bar full of alcohol that gives you all the nutrition of a well-balanced meal.

That said...

This is the new White Lights music video directed by Brandon Nicholas!!! Watch it, repost it, and then come scope them live at one of their electrical rock music guitar shows!



So...see you at the next show?

Casting Office Fashion Show!

Being a piece of human furniture (aka extra work) requires all kinds. While re-registering at Central Casting and hitting up a calling service open call, I've had the opportunity to meet all the old background stereotypes...all the bad comedians trying out new material, the bleach blonde who spends the entire time messing her hair up until it's even bigger than when she came in, the washed-up 40-something screenwriter. But my favorite by far is the Woman of the Late-Middle Age (sounds more historical than aged-badly, in my opinion.) who take "dress professionally" to mean dress like...well, a particular type of "professional."

From Central Casting in February:



From Calling Service:

(Note: wardrobe request for this one was "professional, basic black shirt" but this hot mama went one further..she wore a black bra to match! Now that's a go-getter!")



All that streetwalking experience will serve them well when they're shuffling around on the whorehouse set for an episode of CSI Miami.