Bunking It

I had a conversation with a few people about bunk beds today, and it got me thinking about them. As a kid, they seem really great, until you're sick of sharing your damn room with your sister who farts in her sleep ON THE TOP BUNK. As an adult, I had roommates who got the fancy to free up apartment space by going bunk...and that bunk bed was out on the street within a week. In a catalog world, its a utopia of compact living. In real life, we only put up with it if we're little and our parents have a lot of kids or few rooms.

But part of me wants to buy one of these little gems I googled, just for myself. If I ever end up in a studio apartment....look out, here comes bunk bed house! I'll be eating my breakfast on a bottom bunk!

Behold the bunk glory...



My childhood bunk bed was from the seventies. This one is from the AWESOME. I'm serious, if I lived alone, and it was between this and a nice grown-up bedroom set...no competition. You know how the first time you bring a guy home, you're all awkward? You give them "the tour" and excuse the mess, hoping they're not digusted, or changing their mind. Those worries? GONE. He'll stay over just to pretend he's a pirate on your top bunk. And yes, I know that sounds dirty.

I just keep dreaming of how great every day would be if I woke up in this amazing creation. Someday....



My last bed once floated atop the seas. This one lives beneath the sea. I think there's a curtain across that porthole at the end of the bottom bunk, which I like, but otherwise, it seems a little claustrophobic. I'm intrigued by the desk-thing covered with little soccer players bottom left. Where's the soccer-player bunk bed? Goooooal!



I put this one in here to demonstrate how boring sleeping arrangements will be for children in the future. Sleepover? Yawwn.



I LOVEloveLOVE this one. However, unlike my first example, this would send anyone you bring home screaming for the door before you had a chance to introduce them to each of your stuffed animals. By name.



I would make a joke about this bed, but I just....can't...seem...to...see...it.



IT HURTS MY EYES. I bet the mattress is full of little metal ball-bearings and owl feathers. You know, for ART.

And I saved the best for last. Friend in from out of town? Sure, sleep on the couch! TWO friends in from out of town? No problem! Simply open the couch into...



A BUNK BED!

Final conclusion: Screw it, I'll live a chaste life in my cute and cozy dollhouse bed! I'll have my Disney movies to keep me company.