But wait.....does a normal massage chair promise THIS?
Does it absorb souls?
Does it put ghosts back into their bodies?
Who told these people that the only thing standing between the living and the undead was tight shoulder and back muscles?
I'll tell you one thing....
I am NEVER sitting in this thing. Any inanimate object that claims to have the power to create life is all kinds of wrong. Maybe built with an ancient amulet inside? Maybe absorbing energy for some sort of evil warlock? Maybe plugging you into the matrix?
Excellent! Finally the souls I crave will be given to me by a vibrating chair! I hate feeling so non-human. This chair is the answer! Thank you, Sam Walton!
ReplyDeleteYou villanous retail succubus! I should have known you would relish such an opportunity to suck up the souls of the innocent....
ReplyDeleteyou're like Sarah Jessica Parker in Hocus Pocus. But without having the whole horseface thing she's got going on.